Ah, mortgages—either you’re paying one, shopping for one, or wondering what the heck they even are. Either way, if you’re looking to finance a new home, then buckle up because we’re diving deep into the abyss of mortgages, but fear not, we’ve got flippers and snorkels for all.

The Rates: Fixed or Variable?

What it does:

A fixed-rate mortgage keeps your payments stable, while a variable rate can change over time.

Why it works:

Think of fixed-rate as the reliable friend who always picks up the phone. Variable? That’s your wild, unpredictable friend who could either score you VIP concert tickets or forget your birthday.


Time researching rates and understanding what you can afford.

The Term: It’s Not What You Think

We’re not talking prison sentences here, people! A mortgage term is the length of time you’re committed to a mortgage rate and conditions.

  • What it does: Determines how long you’ll be paying off your home.
  • Investment: Time and peace of mind. Shorter terms usually have lower interest rates but higher monthly payments.

Points or No Points

Are we talking basketball or mortgages? In this case, mortgage points. You can pay extra upfront to get a lower interest rate.

  • What it does: Lowers your interest rate.
  • Investment: More upfront but saves you in the long run.

Don’t Forget the Fees

Oh, they’ll try to sneak ’em in there: origination fees, application fees, unicorn fees (okay, maybe not that last one).

  • Investment: Varies. Always ask for a full list of fees, and don’t hesitate to negotiate.

Shop, Compare, and Contrast

Do your homework! Shop around, ask questions, and make sure to compare apples to apples.

  • What it does: Saves you money, honey!
  • Investment: A bit of time but saves potentially thousands.


Mortgage shopping doesn’t have to be as painful as a trip to the dentist or as confusing as assembling IKEA furniture. You’ve got this. And hey, when you get that dream home with the perfect mortgage, invite us over for the housewarming, will ya?